Hilarious One-Star Reviews of Disneyland and Disney World

Long lines and massive crowds are common complaints about Disneyland in California and Disney World in Florida. But according to ridiculous one-star reviews on Yelp, there are lots of other things to gripe about, too.

Like getting the cold shoulder from Darth Vader. Or being forced to hang out with Goofy instead of Mickey. Or dealing with low-quality toilet paper.

Other reviews are so all over the place, it’s hard to know exactly what’s being complained about … which somehow makes them even funnier.

In any case, it’s hilarious to read people go on tirades about the supposedly Happiest Places on Earth. Here, we’ve gathered some of the most entertaining.  

“Way over priced. Charge you $8 for a burger you can get at McDonald’s for $1. Cannabis is legal in California yet i was smoking in a smoking area and got kicked out with no refund.” — Don E.

Listen, just because it’s legal in the state doesn’t mean it’s allowed at The Magic Kingdom — the only high Disney wants you to experience is on its roller coasters.

This review is also kind of surprising. Wouldn’t you think that if you were smoking cannabis, you’d be a little more chill about your experience no matter the outcome?

*Note: Reviews have been edited for punctuation, spelling and other grammatical errors.

“Tried taking a pic with Vader. He did not give me a good experience. He said he doesn’t wanna see me again.” — Joesh C.

Disney character actors are trained to stay in character no matter what happens. It’s sort of inevitable, then, that a professional completely immersed in the Dark Side of the Force might not be the bubbliest individual in the park.

Wouldn’t it be more disconcerting if Darth Vader had been extremely friendly?

“The park is ok at best. There’s a few improvements that could be made. But above all else it would be a lot better if they rehired James Gunn.” — Andrew B.

This reviewer took the time to write a review of a park just to get his two cents in about a decision Disney recently made regarding an upcoming “Guardians of the Galaxy” movie.

Never mind that the park has virtually nothing to do with the franchise except for a single themed ride. One star!

“This is a great place for adults to mow down your little ones. I was ashamed to be an adult.  It’s amazing how pathetic adults act for a ride. Sorry kids, you need to be a bit bigger to defend yourselves here. Working in the Insurance industry, I’m used to adults behaving like kids but this by far exceeded my already low expectations.” — Marlin R.

Anyone who’s experienced a busy Disney theme park knows that it can be insanely overcrowded, and it’s common for reviewers to bemoan the number of small children running about. Less common are complaints, like this one, about the number of adults acting like children.

I guess the park really does bring out the kid in us.